Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Keith Olbermann is my hero.

I couldn't have said what he said any better. When I saw this it took everything I had to hold back my tears, which ended up silently rolling down my cheeks anyway. To watch the emotions pour through his voice and out of his eyes as he pleads for some kind of understanding really got to me. He said it so damn perfectly.

I have never gotten why this is something that people make such a big deal over. The religious freaks I understand more than the non religious opposers. I mean their great big book of fairy tales tells them its wrong so I'm not gonna even try and get in a religious and political debate with a bible thumper – been there done that one too many times – I am from the south ya know. But who really cares. Why should you care who it takes to make someone else happy? I don't see why it should matter who someone else loves, who someone else chooses to spend the rest of their life with. Shouldn't we just be happy that people are able to love at all? Isn't that better than being bitter sour old hags? I could care less who the heck you spend your time with because it's your business not mine. And I will never care what you think of who I spend my time with. I have maintained romantic relationships with people from my sex and people from the opposite sex. When my last relationship ended I promised myself that was it I was done with men, it was back to women for me, after all that is how I started. But then I had to go and find the most perfect specimen of a man and out went that idea. But had I found a woman to be with and we decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together that would have just been unacceptable to most. Unacceptable I can tolerate, I defy stereotypes as it is, but to have a marriage between a man and a man or a woman and a woman be illegal how can that be fair? Doesn't the Declaration of Independence guarantee us certain inalienable rights, like the pursuit of happiness? The pursuit of happiness is considered by our government an inalienable right(unchallengeable for those who think it just means its anti Martian or some shit) yet marriage between same sex couples is STILL ILLEGAL. Isn't that what it all boils down to anyway? Happiness? You marry someone because you believe that you can be happy with one person for the rest of your life. And who are they decide that for me or for anyone else? Moronic I tell ya.

That is what I love about what he said.
He said it the way it is, well the way it should be.

So I leave it at that.

Keith Olbermann, I love you.

Friday, October 31, 2008

blah halloween

My night consisted of:
Pumpkinhead II - Blood Wings
Night of The Demons 1, 2 AND 3
The Blob (the 1988 remake with Kevin Dillon)
and mucho amounts of popcorn and candy.

Next year I wont have pneumonia and walking down the hall wont feel like I am running a marathon.

Next year we can dress up, get crazy and paint the town orange.

Yeah next year.

Next year will be better.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Phillies win the World Series!

How about them Phillies??
2008 World Series Champions!!
Congratulations, Philadelphia!!


Reconnecting With My Past

I have lived in 13 states in my life.
5 of those I lived in before I graduated high school.
After high school I did A LOT of moving around.
I never regretted any of it. I love that I have lived all over. The only downside of all my moving around was losing touch with everyone from my growing up and teen years. I didn't lose contact with just a few, I lost touch with them all. Even living back in the area I grew up in I never reconnected with anyone.

In 2003 I moved up to New York from Virginia and knew no one. I began spending more and more of my free time on the internet. A friend of mine introduced me to Myspace and I joined up. I put up a very basic profile without much info and added the only picture I had on my computer at the time, myself with no makeup, my hair in pigtails, laying on my bed in my Skankin' Pickle tshirt. Nothing fancy, just me. Of course now I have a very detailed well designed profile and something like 16 albums of pictures, but thats now, not then. Back then Myspace wasn't half as fancy and not nearly as populated as it is now. About a week after I joined I was playing around on the site and was all excited when the new message icon appeared on my homepage. I journeyed to my inbox to find a message waiting from "Wes" titled "Is this Tracy ********?" Now no one I knew at that point would have ever known my maiden name so I opened it out if curiosity and was shocked to find that "Wes" was actually my very dear, very awesome friend I had lost touch with oh so many years ago. Wes had been like my adopted older brother when I was in high school. He even dated one of my closest friends at the time because back then I was awesome at the whole fix-up thing. Wes had been the one to fix me up with my first real boyfriend. And here he was back in my life after 11 years. That summer when I went back home to visit he and I hung out and I got to see other friends that I hadn't seen in ages. Thank you Myspace.

Over the next few years I continued to use Myspace and Google to locate others who I had lost touch with. Oh the glory of the internet! I always had one friend who was unfindable though and she was the most important. She was my best friend from high school, Karen. Karen and her family had moved to Virgina from Australia when we were just starting high school. When we first met each other, well lets just say we didn't hit it off (cigarette butts and ketchup anyone?) The boy I hung out with and her brother were beat friends so she and I were always around each other and soon she and I were inseparable. Where one of us was you knew the other wasn't far. All those things you discover and learn and all those rites of passage you go through as I teenager I went through with Karen. She was amazing. She was like a tiny ray of sunshine with lots of attitude. All my firsts were done with or because of Karen and I do mean all of them. Funny thing was her parents thought *I* was the bad influence! I truly believe Karen helped me to become who I became. After 5 years together her family had to move back to Australia. We had a couple of phone calls and a letter or two before we lost touch. All the female friends I have had since I have always measured up to her and while same came very close none could ever take her place. Then recently on a whim I decided to make another attempt at searching for here and this time DISCO! there we was with a Facebook profile. Or at least someone with her name in AU. So I messaged her and the next morning in my inbox waiting for me was her reply! I was a giddy as a school girl with a crush. Now that I have her back I will not be letting her go anytime soon! I feel like I have a piece if me back again.

Hmmm I wonder who else I can find??

I love the internet!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Just Enjoy The Show

I'm in love:

The Show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show


She is Lenka.
Isn't she cuuuuuuute?

I discovered her on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson which I was only half paying attention to until she came on.
I think she is completely adorable.

I think she looks like the perfect mix between Anna Friel from Pushing Daisies and Natalie Wood:

Anna Friel

Natalie Wood


I am smitten.

And totally addicted to that song.
And the rest of the CD is pretty good too.

I love discovering new stuff.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Viva La Vie Boheme!

to being an us for once......instead if a them!
La Vie Boheme!

On April 29, 1996 Rent opened on Broadway and on September 7, 2008 after 5,124 performances it ended its run. Adapted from Puccini's "La Boheme", it won a Pulitzer for Best Drama in 1996 and was nominated for 10 Tony Awards winning 4 including Best Musical.

Quite simply put it changed my life.

In those 12 years I saw Rent on stage 26 times in 5 cities. I broke my Rent cherry to the original Broadway cast in New York City in June of 1996. It was mesmerizing and the story stirred every emotion I had. And these songs weren't like other Broadway show tunes. The had kick and personality all their own. I liked these songs. The lyrics felt like they spoke only me. I fell in love with every character. I could find something in each of them to identify with. or the first time ever I saw characters that were like me, that were like people I knew. I wanted to be apart of their little group and over time I felt like I was. The only regret I have was not getting to see it in its final run before it ended. Especially since 2 of the cast were American Idol alum Tamyra Gray and Anwar Robionson. But maybe I will get my chance. It was announced that original cast members Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal have joined the 2009 national touring company and even though the rest of the cast hasn't been announced yet I have my fingers crossed it will be a good one and maybe just maybe I'll get tickets to see them when they hit Philly in February and DC in May.

THIS is why I love RENT sooooo much, its like my lifestyle anthem:

Viva La Vie Boheme

Friday, October 17, 2008

For My Viewing Pleasure - Boob Tube Fall '08

I mentioned in my previous post that I watch A LOT of TV so I have decided to lay it all out in one spot just to see how bad I am really.


8:00 pm

- In it's sophomore season Chuck has not disappointed me at all. As a rookie show in the 2007/2008 doomed-by the-writers strike season, this is one of my favorites. The first season was great even if it was cut short and I was eagerly anticipating the return this season and it has just got better.
Prison Break
- I was wary of this show when it first started and didn't start watching initially but after more than one recommendation I began watching and total got hooked. Now in its 4th season the show has once again got me hooked after disappointing 3rd season.
8:30 pm
Monday Night Football
- DUH - I just wish it was still on ABC and that someone would please just shut Tony Kornheiser the fuck up!
9:00 pm
- HEROES! I love this show. The first season was amazing and I was so glad that it took off and that people watched because NBC had really started to fall off the map with hit shows and anything I would watch and like would just get canceled. The second season left A LOT to be desired but I'm sure it was tough to make a story made for a 22 episode season fit into 13 episodes (again, thanks writers strike). I mean that vile that Peter Petrelli so conveniently caught to keep the virus from getting out, wasn't supposed to get caught. I was robbed of the virus dammit! Oh well this season has been great and I'm not complaining anymore.
Terminator: Sarah Conner Chronicles - This show sucks it really does but I started watching last season so I'm kinda stuck to see where they take it.
9:30 pm

Worst Week
- Best new comedy of the season! Kyle Bornheimer, that guy from the awkward cell phone message commercial from T-Mobile, is excellent as the only guy to have worse luck that I do. I thought trying to make an entire season take place in one week wouldn't be something that would work but it really does. And its got Red from That 70's Show in it as the future father in law that just doesn't quite dig ya. I'm glad I started watching this.
10:00 pm

My Own Worst Enemy
- One episode in and so far I am not impressed. Not to say that I am disappointed either. It's exactly what I expected. And I never get excited about NBC's Monday 10pm show. They have had 2 very good shows in this slot both of which were cancelled for poor ratings Pssssh.


8:00 pm
House - Hugh Laurie never ever disappoints as the grumpy sarcastic vicodin addicted Dr Greg House. Though I don't care for his new team. I miss the Cameron/Chase/Forman team. These new docs all suck. And I really liked the PI who made an appearance in a couple episodes this season. His dynamic with House was better than his teams. Bring him back!
9:00 pm

Fringe - This show had so much hype going into the premiere I really wasn't expecting to like it, but I do. I really do. I love the stories and I liked how they are gonna all tie into some greater scheme. Reminds me of the whole Rambaldi thing on ALIAS. JJ Abrams makes really good TV.
The Mentalist - Simon Baker is sexy and I think I watch this mainly for his pretty grin. But the shows not bad - predictable but watchable.
10:00 pm
The Shield - Vic Mackey is one of the greatest characters ever written for the small screen and if you have never watched this show you should go find it online and start watching it right now.


8:00 pm

Pushing Daisies - My favorite new show from last season. It's soooo cute and adorable. Like a storybook for grown ups. The writing and directing are fantastic, the art direction is some of the best on TV and the cast is great. Chi McBride i love so much on this show. And it has Kristen Chenoweth who is epitome of adorable! If you aren't watching this, you should be.
9:00 pm
Private Practice - I hate Grey's Anatomy and I am not ashamed to admit that I only watch this show because I wanna have sex with Kate Walsh - really really bad.
10:00 pm
Dirty Sexy Money
- Ohhhhhh another rookie from last season that I just LOVE. This show is great! The Darlings are the best family on TV. This show has never left me feeling flat and always keeps me glued to my screen. I love the Donald Sutherland/Peter Krause chemistry too. The casting director for this show should win an award.
Sons of Anarchy - This show sucks but I fuckin' love Katey Sagal in this - she is one bad ass bitch!


8:00 pm

My Name Is Earl
- This show doesn't get any better ever. It was great its first season and has since plateaued but Jamie Pressley plays the white trash ex wife better than anyone ever could.
9:30 pm
30 Rock
- The best comedy on TV. Period. It's smart. It's sooo well written. Tina Fey really shines on this show both as an actress and as a writer and producer. It gets the best guest stars on TV. It has a brilliant Alec Baldwin, and it has NO laugh track! Yup. Best comedy on TV.
10:00 pm
ER - My tear jerker. I cant believe after 14 years its finally time to say goodbye to ER. Thursdays will not be the same without it.
Life On Mars - I like this show. But shows about time travel no matter what kind of time travel never last so I am not getting my hopes up that it will stay on the air.
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia - Brilliant. This show is one of my favorite comedies ever.


9:00 pm
The Ex List - I have no life on Friday nights being that my boyfriend and I live so far apart......for now. The premise for this romantic dramedy was cute enough so I started watching. Its not so bad. But not something I see myself keeping up with once I have a life.
10:00 pm
Numb3rs - I have watched every season and have never been disappointed. Until now. Now I think I am growing tired of the concept and again wont miss it if I am not watching it.


9:00 pm
Desperate Housewives - Why am I still watching this show? This show hasn't been good for 2 seasons.
10:00 pm

The Unit - Another why am I still watching this? It started off sooooo good but now CBS has sent it to a time slot to die so it should be put out of its misery soon.
Entourage - I love this show. It never changes its always the same and it never lets me down.
Dexter - One of my most favorite shows. And this season is just incredible Started off with a BANG and I am sure it will go out that way too. Michael C Hall really needs to win an Emmy for his portrayal of the good doer serial killer before this show ends its run.
Mad Men - This show is so phenomenal. I still think Jon Hamm was robbed of the Emmy this year. And this is only season 2 and I am super hooked.

Hmmmm 26 shows on the air right now that I watch regularly.

Maybe I need to find a 12 step program?

How to make me cry like a baby.

If you ever wanna see me cry the formula is pretty simple. Have me watch some heart wrenching episodes of ER, it's a guaranteed sobfest. Let's see, we are 4 episodes into their final season after 14 years and they have already had me ball my eyes out in two episodes. One of those episodes had me crying in three separate scenes as well. This seasons gonna be a killer I can tell. What is it about that show that makes me cry so much? I cry when characters leave the show, as was the case tonight with the departure of Abby Lockhart who I watched grow from med student to nurse back to med student and then doctor. I loved her! I cry when characters die. Especially ones that I loved, like Mark Green, oh that was a tear jerker! I could rattle off at least 10 episodes off the top of my head that was the cause of tears for me with just that show. And its not just ER. Its any show that I watch and invest my time in and believe me I watch A LOT of TV. Series finales always get me really good, a box of tissues is a must for most of those. I don't know what it is about TV shows that does it to me. In my real life I'm not much of a crier. I mean if something really touches me or makes me really sad I will cry I have the capacity I just don't do it a lot. But give a character I love terminal brain cancer and have him die to some beautifully sweet song playing softly in the background and I will ball like a baby. And TV show love stories realllly get me too. Especially the ones where you just cant wait for two people to be together and then the finally hook up and everything works out all happy and stuff. Awww if only life could be as perfect as these scripted serial shows that have me hooked. I cant help it I guess. I escape to these places for an hour at a time 20 or so times a year and I know the characters and I grow to care about them and I get happy and sad with their little make believe ups and downs. It makes me happy so I guess that's all that matters right?

Or its just a serious sign that I really need to get a life.

Jury's still out on that one.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

We've Only Just Begun......

white lace and promises....
a kiss for luck and we're on our way.....

I'm going to a wedding this weekend. A real wedding too. This one's not taking place in someones backyard and happening because the bride really needs dental insurance or something like that. This is something I actually had to go out and BUY a dress and fancy heels for because I didn't own anything like that. It's kind of exciting, its been wow 9 years since I have been to one of these. Now if it had been a funeral I would have been prepared mind you, I have been to 8 of those in the last 2 years. So I'm thinking it should be a good time, I am going on the arm of the most devilishly handsome best man ever so it's starting off on a great pair of feet.

And also in the past month, 2 couples I am friends with became engaged. One shocked the heck out of me, I had no idea he was thinking of proposing though I knew in the long run it would happen. The other not so much shocking seeing as the groom-to-be made sure most of us knew. Both were extremely romantic and I am so happy for both of them.

Then I got to thinking - am I seriously missing all of my girly stuff part of me. Yes I am less girly than most females but I am female- I didn't own a dress who's sole purpose was to be worn to funerals until recently but I look all woman in the one I did buy, I hate pink sparkly glittery things I prefer black with like skulls or something, I don't gush over babies or engagement rings but I do feel happiness for those they belong to, I watch and know more about sports than my boyfriend (which has happened quite often to me, actually) and I don't daydream about my wedding and have no idea if I even ever wanna be married....again...do I?

I never really got the big wedding thing. My dream was always to go to Vegas and have some Elvis impersonator perform the ceremony. Now that's doing it up right! With a big wedding you spend so much money on something that lasts only a few hours. I knew a girl a couple years back who spent $11,000 on her wedding dress. Are you crazy?? You wear the thing once, one time!!!!! I don't get it and I could do some much more with that much money. I could never be one of those girls in one of the big ole Cinderella gowns - the best part of a wedding reception is all the free booze and I could just never get drunk in a dress that's bigger than me. Ugh and people dance those stupid group dances at these things don't they? Oh I hope there is no drunken Macarena or the Electric Slide! I don't think I can handle that. And don't expect to see my huddling up with all the other single ladies in hopes to be the lucky lady who catches the bouquet and be the next one in line to get hitched. I will be sitting in the sideline watching all the young giddy girls fight over who has the best spot and then proceed to watch them dive and yank and pull trying to be the one to walk away with the shredded bouquet.

But I am excited to get to this thing. Mainly because my date, my boyfriend, is the best man. And I don't really know his friends - and this is kind of like my coming out to them. I suppose I am kinda nervous, I mean I have met a few of his friends and they all seemed to like me ok but there's something about this that has me a bit nervesy ya know? See my boyfriend is that great guy that everyone has in their crowd. And I'm an outsider. And he is soooooo so so like able, I don't wanna end up the girlfriend everyone dislikes.

And did I mention I have to wear a dress?

wish me luck!


Well since I was lame and never posted this I figured I could just tack the follow up onto the end of this

Wedding came and the wedding went. And it was a BLAST!

Got to Philly Friday afternoon and was still feeling quite ill from the my stomach stuff that week so I skipped out on the rehearsal dinner and felt crappy for doing so but I wanted to be as close to 100% for the wedding as I could.

I spent most of Friday night sleeping and woke up Saturday feeling much better than I had the day before. I got ready at my boyfriends place and headed out with him to meet a couple friends of his we were giving a ride to and to get some coffee. And at this point I was the only one of us that was dressed up so I felt a tad awkward but it was all good. We got our coffee and proceeded to the motel where everyone was meeting and got stuck hanging out there for awhile til we were eventually shuttled off to the site of the wedding.

The wedding was held at Ridley State Park in the Delco in PA. What a beautiful site for a wedding. Hung out for awhile before the ceremony and made friends with an awesome Philly transplant living in Brooklyn and the wife of one of his friends whom I had met on a previous trip. The ceremony was a Quaker ceremony. Not being from PA and having no friends who were Quakers I had never been to a Quaker wedding before and it was a lot different from any wedding I had seen before. The wedding party spent most of the ceremony sitting down (bonus for them) and then everyone sat there in silence until someone was moved to speak. So we sat. And then people began to talk and everyone said very sweet things. Then the silence and the speaking was over and they were man and wife and now it was time to start the drinking.

I wasn't sure where my boyfriend had run off to so I found Ms Philly-transplant in the alcohol line and joined her and soon was knocking back some white wine. We got along great and had a blast with each other when my boyfriend made his way over to me, he said he was just checking to make sure I was ok and I think it helped that he saw me being social and meeting people and not just sitting in a corner somewhere. I got to spend some time with his mom whom I had only met briefly once before when we picked her up at the airport late at night. His mom is awesome and I think she likes me so yay bonus for me. And wow did I meet alot of his friends - I had people coming up to me all night - "oh so ur Alex's girlfriend" - talk about feeling like ur being put on display - but all and all I think I made a good impression, I did even get an invitation to Christmas Eve with Nate the Elf or something like that and one friend of his whom he thought would probably be irritated by me seemed to like me just fine. . And we danced. I actually slow danced, with a man. Can I just say I haven't done that since my sophomore year of high school. But it was nice. It was really nice. We drank and had so much fun and when it was all over we had a trunk full of pawned off liquor and champagne and wedding cake (that I never got to eat) and took ourselves home where we changed and headed out for more drinking.

So it went well I think and I cant wait until the next time I get to hang out with my boyfriend and his friends and not have to be in a dress! Or feeling like I am being put under a microscope.

Here's some pics if you wanna see.

and behold the greatest best man speech in the history of best man speeches:

And then the next morning I woke up feeling like death and with no voice, turns out its just pneumonia though...I'll be fine.